Shipping & Returns
Discreetly to your door, backed for years.
Every Thelemonsuckers order ships in unbranded packaging from our warehouse. Domestic orders are free. Returns are simple. The two-year warranty covers everything.
Standard US delivery
On all US orders
Return window
Warranty included
How shipping works
Discreet packaging
Orders arrive in plain corrugate with a generic return address. The packing slip lists the brand only as 'TLS Group, LLC.' Nothing on the outside identifies what's inside.
Domestic delivery
Free standard shipping on every US order. UPS or USPS, 2–4 business days. Faster options at checkout (1–2 business days). Tracking emails arrive the moment your label is created.
International
We ship to Canada, the UK, Australia, and the EU. Duties and import VAT are collected at checkout — no hidden fees at your door. Transit takes 5–10 business days.
Hold orders
Need extra time before we ship? Email [email protected] within four hours of order placement and we can hold it up to 30 days.
Returns & warranty
30-day returns
If you're not fully satisfied, return any product within 30 days of arrival for a full refund. We'll send a prepaid label — no questions, no restocking fees.
Two-year warranty
Every toy includes a two-year warranty covering motor failure, battery issues, and silicone damage. We'll replace or repair at no cost for your first claim.
Hygiene note
We accept returns on used products — your refund processes regardless. Returned items are never refurbished or resold. They're recycled responsibly through our materials partner.
Something arrived broken or wrong? Email [email protected] with a photo and your order number. We'll ship a replacement the same business day, typically.